The ways we love,
Hands plucking dandelions as flowers,
Dancing in mud,
Holding stars as ourselves, and ourselves the stars.
Our songs to water, silly and gracious, as we bathe.
The crisp cut of knife through the taut ripe pepper.
Hands exploring dog fur, wandering adoration.
I wait.
Coffee bitter, water chugging, the day begins.
I wake like flowers closed,
Eyes open in tight crinkled petals,
Stumble to the bathroom (a clumsy bear),
And return to bed to flip
Open the mail to start my day.
Then I remember.
I am losing the weight of time.
I am losing the weight of my body.
My mother is losing her mind.
My husband and I are losing our fear.
Sudden riotous joy
Lily’s dolphin leap to the bed,
A fury of kisses, and motion and
Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou
goodmorninggoodmorning
good
morning
In giddy licks and kisses
Don knows sweet just like Lily.
26 years later, and still coffee brought to me in bed.
Always a smile of good morning,
Holding all the mornings of our lives.
The steady hum of life through us,
The pain and fractures,
The impeccable joy and pleasures,
The art and the drum
His eyes, and love his soul.
Coffee two and now I can see.
Oh, first the choice of living from my heart
Or head.
Of rising like a dolphin in the shower
Or standing flat footed and dumb,
Not even noticing the water’s gift.
Moving through rooms, my mind distant
Shoulders worn as earrings speculating
About a day a month from now
Or sinew like snake turning muscle
Toward the air it smells with its tongue.
Who gets to live like this?
Loved and loved and loved
Even with such broken limits
Memories of father’s dislike
Mother’s wrath
Sister’s torture
So long ago
I was born fresh
An acorn broken open and sprouted
Aged now
Gnarled and broken in so many pieces
Cuts and fractures
My bark and root grew fantastic shapes,
Now merged into one blessing,
One bearwomanskyearthwatertree song
Rising slow to see what happens next.